So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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