glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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