remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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