p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
