im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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