Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
this just has baby written all over it
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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