Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
