You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
