nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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