Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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