Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
