we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize