Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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