Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
