I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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