There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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