he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I supernannyed him into submission
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
