i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
