he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
