There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
