Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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