I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
