so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
this will be a night to untag.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Are my feet made of real feet?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
