I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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