you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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