Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
