so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
