you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
