Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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