She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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