Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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