please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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