so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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