Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
