i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
