I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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