I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
