My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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