those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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