Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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