Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
