my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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