East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
