i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
