we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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