Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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