Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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