you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
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