I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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