it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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