my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
