My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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