her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
