She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
