once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
