the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize