She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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