their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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