I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
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There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
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If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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