long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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