You're earring is so big in my mouth
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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