I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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