Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
