Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
did you just send me my own nude
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
