I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
