u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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