I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize