how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
