why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
