I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
