guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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