Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
