Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
