U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
