He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
