well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
