We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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